10.27.2009

apocalypse


i think ive been visited by one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.  why?  simply because i got sick a few weeks ago and it took about 2 weeks to get over it and about another week for it to start to die off.  THEN!  last night i had a completely horrible night of cough, fever and general misery.  getting 2 separate sicknesses back to back?  screw this!  its gotta be the apocalypse right?  if im going to be sick for another 3+ weeks then believe me when i say id rather be dead.  death or ryuk if youre listening.. please take me now...
in fact lets go ahead and compile a proper "id rather" list right now...


  • id rather accidentally wander onto a giant electro magnet wearing jeans made of iron and then be hurled into space
  • id rather wake up in the morning with a 3 pound bolivian banana spider perched on my chest
  • id rather have one of my eyes fall out every once in a while
  • id rather be attacked by a large group of LARP'ers
  • id rather take a bath with an angry stingray

  • id rather take my chances wearing an "I've kicked a thousand dogs and counting" t-shirt at a PETA protest
  • id rather drink a quart of tequila-eggnog without taking a breath
  • id rather be taken prisoner by terrorists and then used as a test subject for a brand new torture using water boarding and electric eels
  • id rather get beat up by an african zebra that knows karate and talks like snoop dog
  • id rather know what the inside of an anaconda's stomach smells like


  • id rather have my toes removed by lightning bolts
  • id rather have 12 foot flames come out my ears every time i sneeze
  • id rather smell like wonder bread
  • id rather be related to the guy from the wallflowers
  • i would rather a wizard appear unto me and curse me so that every room i enter for the rest of my life will have all its wallpaper replaced with images of elijah wood
so in summary.. f being sick.

    2 comments:

    1. I have a pet zebra that beats people up, knows karate, and talks like Snoop Dogg! I'm so glad we can still hang out and that it won't be a problem ;)

      ReplyDelete

    Thanks for the comments.