Happy New Years everyone... i really hope this year has been better for you than for me.
i dont know what or why im writing this but its new years eve and i have nothing but world of warcraft to distract me.
this has been a year ill never forget but probably want to. the most difficult and trying year of my life i have no doubt. the year i got married. the year i got a divorce (pending). the year my health took the ultimate nose dive. and the year i possibly found a doctor that might actually be able to fix this 8 year nightmare for good (also pending).
he has put me on a strict diet of no sugar no yeast among other things. i have no idea how long i will have to do this but so far its not been super fun or super easy. there is sugar in EVERYTHING. im also on a drug called diflucan (when my mom picked this one up from the pharmacy the guy asked her if i had cancer...) im also on a crazy german made drug brucella melitense nos or something. im also taking something called vital 10 with every meal which is a probiotic. it also seems that one of the things i picked up in bolivia back in 2001 was Lyme Disease. so i guess ive had freaking Lyme Disease for the last 8 years. whether that is the cause of all my suffering i dont know.. but im sure its been a good portion of it.
ill really be glad if i live to see the day where i have my life back. no one knows how much ive endured over the years. no one knows what its like now. not even my family. i have no hope of getting better. i gave up a long time ago. however this doctor is the first one to tell me anything that actually makes any sense. so there may be a chance ill pull out of this awful mess. my family seems to be convinced.
ive never been is such bad shape before. the stress of my failing marriage has tested my limits. i moved back to lehi a while ago and have been living with my parents. ive taken some time off work for the holidays and have been trying to recover somewhat. i spent more than 10 days doing nothing more than sitting in this chair. my family has been completely wonderful. i will never be able to repay their kindness. i have trouble walking and driving. the pain is crippling. im completely disabled. simple tasks are exhausting. chemicals like perfume and cologne ruin my life when even im around it but even candles and dryer sheets effect me. the list goes on...
this whole thing has been such a mind trip. i dont know if ill ever be the same again. i got married july 25th.. we only lived together for like 2 and a half months. life is crazy sometimes.. but im hoping that good will come of it. for myself though.. i dont have a clue what that might be yet...
its been an interesting year...
this post was more for me than for anyone else. i really dont need any comments here. you dont need to say anything to me the next time you see me. ok.. now i think im going to go back to what ive been doing for the past month.. playing wow..