2.25.2008

Gizmodo's Anti-RIAA Manifesto

If you guys haven't read this yet you really should. Well anyone who cares about technology or the music industry. This is exactly how I have felt about this situation for years. I'm so sick of the RIAA bullying going on. Makes me sick.

shirt

Just a shirt I thought you guys should know about.



We can't let those animal rights activist wack-jobs get the best of us!

2.14.2008

Hmm.. interesting..

I'll punch in the face...

... anyone that says anything bad about this movie.



I know you want to see it.

"Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast"

I read this headline today and totally busted up... how dumb are some people.

2.13.2008

life changing event

The night before last a series of events triggered an experience that may have changed my life forever. I'd like to take you on a journey of these events.

It began around midnight as I was getting ready for bed.  There is a sort of "bedtime mental checklist" that we all do right?  Mine goes like this. Strip and throw my clothes on the ground.  Get a drink of water.  Brush my teeth.  Turn off all the lights and electronics.  Then check my phone alarm and volume settings...

Except I couldn't find my phone.  Checked all over the house and even outside on the ground.  Not in my truck either.  It was gone.  As frustration was taking hold I walked into the kitchen and decided to vent a bit by doing some "late night cleaning" (its a thing I do.. sometimes).

The day before, Branden and I, had found a few nasty little surprises in our refrigerator.  One was a very old, never opened, half gallon jug of whole milk.  And another, mostly empty, milk container whose age and wisdom was unknown.  It is important to know that this is winder dairy, unpasteurized milk, so it goes bad very quickly.  The condition of the first jug was extreme.  It was obviously in advanced stages of metamorphism and was probably closer to being a solid mass than anything you might call familiar.  Another small treasure we found was a tupperware full of gravy that had been in there since the land before time. Anyway, I had taken these items out of the fridge and left them on the counter that night.

Starting with the never opened jug of near solid milk, I tested the container with both hands.  It was enormously pressurized, warped, and totally bulging.  My highly evolved intellect told me that whatever I intended to do with this milk, I should probably do it outside.

The idea was to dump it out in the backyard somewhere, and get it cleaned up so I could return the container to winder dairy.  Here I am, out in the snow, kneeling over this thing and ready to pull the tab on the lid seal.  I thought I could point the lid away from me and let it explode safely in the other direction... I was so wrong.

I had just barely begun to pull on the tab when a titanic explosion blurred my vision.  For a moment I was simply startled and confused.  But I was soon forced to accept the brutal reality of it all, the contents had somehow defied physics and completely reversed my intended trajectory.  Confusion was replaced with horror.  It was all over me, my clothes were covered in it but worse, it was in my eyes, my nose and my mouth.  And just as violent as the explosion itself, I was overpowered by the unimaginable stench of it all.  I did nothing, holding my breath, not knowing what to do.  I thought I might start vomiting and never stop.  Finally my instincts kicked in and I began to laugh at myself.  Spitting and cleaning myself up as best I could, I laughed to keep from being completely sick.  Humor can be a powerful ally.

I walked back into the house surrounded by an almost visible aura of poisonous vapors.  I gave a half hearted attempt to wash out the jug, then exiled it to the carport.  Trying not to think about what was on my clothes and flesh I moved on to the second milk jug.  This one was nearly empty but had been in the fridge far longer.  It had also turned a very organic looking color of green...

This time I had no fear of physics-bending explosions so I intended to just poor what was left down the sink. As soon as I had the top, folly gripped me for the second time as an invisible atomic bomb mushroom clouded the entire kitchen.  It was staggering.  It was intense.  I could not believe it.  It simply did not make any sense.  Just as potent as the other milk that was still all over me but on the opposite side of the odor-spectrum.  There was no escape.  Not puking, was the only thing my mind could hold on to.  It demanded every drop of willpower I had.

With the sink on full blast, I opened the windows.  Then I covered the sink in grapefruit flavored dish soap, it was all I had.  Unfortunately it did little to combat the stink I had unleashed.

Frantic now, I went for the gravy next.  Just wanting this to be over so I could take a shower and wish for death.  Again I opened it outside and was not surprised to see mold had taken over most of the container.  Unrecognizable gravy poured out easily from beneath the thriving new ecosystem.  Once again I was harassed by powerful odors whose equal could only be found in Bolivia.  Foul.  The combined force of the gravy, A-Bomb and milk explosion, drove me to the limit.  My guts lurched and heaved.  But I did not surrender.  An effort worthy of ballads and songs, I turned my stomach into a tremendous fleshy cage, though it trembled all the way back to the kitchen.  Quickly I set to bring an end to this nightmare.  After washing down what was left of that vile, foul, demonic filth, I moved directly into the shower.

With uncomfortably hot water I tried to burn away the smell and the shame, but was surprised again to find the smell as tenacious and resilient as ever.  I was in there a good long while.  Finally, I crawled into bed, a sorry, defeated and utterly miserable human being.  That night I decided to never buy milk again.  At least not like that.  The next day I changed my order from normal milk to soy.

I may never drink milk again....

2.11.2008

TAXES

just wanted to say how gay tax returns are.

I paid like 4000 dollars in taxes last year and im getting back like $300 federal and $50 state! JUDAS!

2.05.2008

2 things

Can't get enough of this song today...




AND I WANT A FREAKING BLENDTEC BLENDER!

2.04.2008

"my humps"

I came across something funny. We are probably all aware of the awful "My Humps" song from Black Eyed Peas. Well it looks like Alanis did an awesome remake and there is even silly video making fun of it so bad. I actually like the remake.. kinda funny.

<-- Alanis
<-- Original

2.01.2008

Trying new things

Welcome to alternative medicine.