Gettin longer...
2.27.2008
2.25.2008
Gizmodo's Anti-RIAA Manifesto
If you guys haven't read this yet you really should. Well anyone who cares about technology or the music industry. This is exactly how I have felt about this situation for years. I'm so sick of the RIAA bullying going on. Makes me sick.
2.14.2008
I'll punch in the face...
... anyone that says anything bad about this movie.
I know you want to see it.
I know you want to see it.
"Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast"
I read this headline today and totally busted up... how dumb are some people.
2.13.2008
life changing event
The night before last a series of events triggered an experience that may have changed my life forever. I'd like to take you all on a journey of these events.
It all started around midnight as I was getting ready for bed. There is sort of a "bedtime mental checklist" that we all do right? Mine is sorta like this. Strip and throw my clothes on the ground. Get a drink of water. Brush my teeth. Turn off all the lights and electronics. Then check my phone alarm and volume settings...
Thats where it began. I could not find my phone anywhere. Checked all over the house even outside on the ground and in my truck. It was gone.
As frustration was taking hold I walked into the kitchen and decided to cool off a bit by doing some "late night cleaning"
Now, the day before, me and Branden had found a few nasty little surprises in our refrigerator. One was a very old never opened half gallon jug of whole milk. And another mostly empty milk container whose age and wisdom was unknown. It is important to know that this is winder dairy non pasteurized milk so it goes bad very quickly. The condition of this first jug was extreme. It was obviously in advanced stages of metamorphism and was probably closer to being a solid mass than actual milk. I also found a tupperware full of gravy that had been in there since the land before time. Anyway I had taken these items out of the fridge and left them on the counter that night. Seeing these items are what sparked "late night cleaning mode"
I picked up the never opened jug of near solid milk and tested its pressure with my hands. It was enormously pressurized and totally bulging. My highly evolved intellect told me that what ever I was about to do with this milk, I should probably do it outside.
I intended to get the milk out and clean it up so I could return the container to winder dairy. So, here I am, out there in the snow, kneeling over this thing about to pull off the seal and then remove the lid. I thought I could point the lid away from me and let it explode safely in the other direction... I was so wrong.
I had just begun to remove the seal when a titanic explosion blurred my vision. For a moment I was in a terrified and confused stupor. Then I had to accept the brutal reality, it had somehow defied physics and completely reversed its intended trajectory. I was quickly overcome with horror. It was all over me. It was on my clothes but worse, it was in my eyes, nose and mouth. And just as violent as the explosion itself, I was overpowered by the unimaginable stench of it all. I stood there frozen, holding my breath, not knowing what to do. I was scared I would soon be puking and not be able to stop. Finally my instincts kicked in and I began to laugh at myself. Spiting and cleaning myself up as best I could. I laughed to keep from vomiting. Humor is a great defense.
I walked back into the house, surrounded by an almost visible aura of poisonous vapors. I gave a half hearted attempt to wash out the jug, then put it outside. I tried not to think about what was on my clothes and flesh.
On to milk jug #2. This one was nearly empty but had been in the fridge much much longer. And it had turned a very organic green color...
This time I had no fear of physics-bending explosions so I intended to just poor what was left down the sink. As soon as I had the top off an invisible atomic bomb mushroom clouded the entire kitchen. It was staggering. I could not believe it. The smell was horrifically intense. Just as potent as the other milk that was still all over me but on the opposite side of the odor-spectrum. There was no escape. Not puking was the only thing on my mind. It demanded every drop of will power I had.
I washed it down and opened the windows. I squirted grapefruit flavor dish soap all over the sink, it was all I had. Unfortunately it did little to abate the stink bomb.
Frantically I went for the gravy next. I just wanted this to be over so I could take a shower and wish for death. I again opened it outside and was not surprised to see mold had taken over most of the container. Unrecognizable gravy poured out easily from beneath the thriving new ecosystem. Once again I was attacked by powerful odors only bested by Bolivia. It was awful. The combined force the the gravy, A-Bomb and fierce solid milk explosion drove me to the limit. My guts lurched and begged for release. I did not concede, after a valiant effort worthy of ballads and songs, I turned my stomach into a tremendous fleshy cage. However I was not immune or able to quell the dry heaves all the way back into the kitchen. Quickly I cleaned and rinsed it out. Washed down what was left of that vile, foul, demonic filth and headed straight into the shower.
Standing in the shower I was surprised again to find the smell as tenacious and resilient as ever. I took a long soapy furious shower. Finally, I crawled into bed, a sorry, defeated and utterly miserable human being. That night I decided to never buy milk again. At least not like that. The next day I changed my order from normal milk to soy.
I may never drink milk again....
It all started around midnight as I was getting ready for bed. There is sort of a "bedtime mental checklist" that we all do right? Mine is sorta like this. Strip and throw my clothes on the ground. Get a drink of water. Brush my teeth. Turn off all the lights and electronics. Then check my phone alarm and volume settings...
Thats where it began. I could not find my phone anywhere. Checked all over the house even outside on the ground and in my truck. It was gone.
As frustration was taking hold I walked into the kitchen and decided to cool off a bit by doing some "late night cleaning"
Now, the day before, me and Branden had found a few nasty little surprises in our refrigerator. One was a very old never opened half gallon jug of whole milk. And another mostly empty milk container whose age and wisdom was unknown. It is important to know that this is winder dairy non pasteurized milk so it goes bad very quickly. The condition of this first jug was extreme. It was obviously in advanced stages of metamorphism and was probably closer to being a solid mass than actual milk. I also found a tupperware full of gravy that had been in there since the land before time. Anyway I had taken these items out of the fridge and left them on the counter that night. Seeing these items are what sparked "late night cleaning mode"
I picked up the never opened jug of near solid milk and tested its pressure with my hands. It was enormously pressurized and totally bulging. My highly evolved intellect told me that what ever I was about to do with this milk, I should probably do it outside.
I intended to get the milk out and clean it up so I could return the container to winder dairy. So, here I am, out there in the snow, kneeling over this thing about to pull off the seal and then remove the lid. I thought I could point the lid away from me and let it explode safely in the other direction... I was so wrong.
I had just begun to remove the seal when a titanic explosion blurred my vision. For a moment I was in a terrified and confused stupor. Then I had to accept the brutal reality, it had somehow defied physics and completely reversed its intended trajectory. I was quickly overcome with horror. It was all over me. It was on my clothes but worse, it was in my eyes, nose and mouth. And just as violent as the explosion itself, I was overpowered by the unimaginable stench of it all. I stood there frozen, holding my breath, not knowing what to do. I was scared I would soon be puking and not be able to stop. Finally my instincts kicked in and I began to laugh at myself. Spiting and cleaning myself up as best I could. I laughed to keep from vomiting. Humor is a great defense.
I walked back into the house, surrounded by an almost visible aura of poisonous vapors. I gave a half hearted attempt to wash out the jug, then put it outside. I tried not to think about what was on my clothes and flesh.
On to milk jug #2. This one was nearly empty but had been in the fridge much much longer. And it had turned a very organic green color...
This time I had no fear of physics-bending explosions so I intended to just poor what was left down the sink. As soon as I had the top off an invisible atomic bomb mushroom clouded the entire kitchen. It was staggering. I could not believe it. The smell was horrifically intense. Just as potent as the other milk that was still all over me but on the opposite side of the odor-spectrum. There was no escape. Not puking was the only thing on my mind. It demanded every drop of will power I had.
I washed it down and opened the windows. I squirted grapefruit flavor dish soap all over the sink, it was all I had. Unfortunately it did little to abate the stink bomb.
Frantically I went for the gravy next. I just wanted this to be over so I could take a shower and wish for death. I again opened it outside and was not surprised to see mold had taken over most of the container. Unrecognizable gravy poured out easily from beneath the thriving new ecosystem. Once again I was attacked by powerful odors only bested by Bolivia. It was awful. The combined force the the gravy, A-Bomb and fierce solid milk explosion drove me to the limit. My guts lurched and begged for release. I did not concede, after a valiant effort worthy of ballads and songs, I turned my stomach into a tremendous fleshy cage. However I was not immune or able to quell the dry heaves all the way back into the kitchen. Quickly I cleaned and rinsed it out. Washed down what was left of that vile, foul, demonic filth and headed straight into the shower.
Standing in the shower I was surprised again to find the smell as tenacious and resilient as ever. I took a long soapy furious shower. Finally, I crawled into bed, a sorry, defeated and utterly miserable human being. That night I decided to never buy milk again. At least not like that. The next day I changed my order from normal milk to soy.
I may never drink milk again....
2.11.2008
TAXES
just wanted to say how gay tax returns are.
I paid like 4000 dollars in taxes last year and im getting back like $300 federal and $50 state! JUDAS!
I paid like 4000 dollars in taxes last year and im getting back like $300 federal and $50 state! JUDAS!
2.04.2008
"my humps"
I came across something funny. We are probably all aware of the awful "My Humps" song from Black Eyed Peas. Well it looks like Alanis did an awesome remake and there is even silly video making fun of it so bad. I actually like the remake.. kinda funny.
<-- Alanis
<-- Original
<-- Alanis
<-- Original
2.01.2008
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