11.03.2006

0 - 1 BYU

Today was going along smoothly and rather fantastically until someone popped into my office saying I was needed to take back a video my boss rented to the LRC at BYU. I thought to myself

"sure. I can just swing down to BYU, drop it off then get me a jaydog while I‘m there and be back in time for tea."


What actually happened was this..

Parking = nightmare. Finally I found a spot but the 2 bone heads on either side of it had parked over the line and all jacked.. so.. after careful planning I backed into it and was off, already wishing I hadn't accepted what I as yet didn’t know was mission impossible.

Next was finding the right building.. then finding the actual entrance.. Judas.. would it kill someone to put up a few sign's to first tell you what building it is.. and then to put them near the entrance and not on the other side where all you can do is look at people through the window like a dufus wondering how the eff you get into the building..

Finally I was in the right building.. next obstacle.. getting to the right floor. I tried the elevator in what I guess is a lobby.. I walk over to where the buttons are and there are no up arrow's to push... ok.. so I stand there like an idiot... I know I’m supposed to get to the 4th floor.. the elevator just told me that I was on the 3rd floor.. so I walk away again feeling like an idiot.. I walk till I find some stairs... YES.. I hurry up to the 4th floor.

Again.. no signs telling me anything useful.. so blindly I venture in... nothing but rows and rows of books.. everyone is quiet and clicking away on their laptops.. the feeling that I really shouldn’t be here peaks. After much awkward searching (let me paint you a picture.. you walk down a hall or peak down a row of something only to see a dead-end or something and then quickly reverse.. all the while you know there are at least a handful of people watching your every move thinking "oh man.. look at that poor fool.. doesn’t know where he’s going in life.. ) I finally find a sign that says LRC and an arrow.. I quicken my pace in that direction.. I made it! I thankfully find the drop box quickly and get rid of the goods.. the deed is done.. now lets get a hotdog..

but wait.. your journey isn’t over.. now you have to find a way out of this stupid building..

Instantly I found myself utterly lost.. and pissed about it. I follow every exit sign I see only to be greeted with this message "Emergency Exit Only" "Alarm will sound upon opening of this door" I kid you not this happened more times than I want to admit! I’ve tried every floor.. only to be met with more and more failure. I’m angry at existence.. and now I have a burning need to pee. I am about to scream out "will someone tell me how the HELL to get out of this building!?!?!?!?" somehow I keep my cool and resist the urge to scream... what seems like forever (you know how it is when you gotta pee.. everything takes an eternity) I found the same stairs I used to get to the forsaken 4th floor.. I make my escape with a silent oath: “I’m never ever coming back to this awful place...”

2 comments:

  1. BOOM! First comment! Yeah.. places do suck.

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  2. I attend classes in that freaking maze they call a library. It should be labyrinth, not library. I know exactly what it feels like to think you're on your way out only to find yourself a second later face to face with a large red sticker on the door to freedom that says something to the effect of "Open me if you want to make everyone run around screaming 'FIRE!!!' while they themselves go looking for the exit."

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Thanks for the comments.